oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
