I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
