my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
