Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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