He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
