they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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