he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
