If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You made out with two different species that night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
