You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
