I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
