it wasn't lemon gatorade
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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