ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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