They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You pole danced in your parka.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
