The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize