Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
