Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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