my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
