Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize