I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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