yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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