it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
