id be glad to
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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