Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
