pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
