Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
