Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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