You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
