I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
