I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He better not be in your backpack
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
