woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
