We're facebook friends in real life
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
