so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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