3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
