Are we in a gay sports bar?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize