Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
