Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize