I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
