Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize