I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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