don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize