farters have to be the big spoon...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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