I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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