you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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