fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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