I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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