Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
