all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
