i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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