well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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