no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize