It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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