Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
