i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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