no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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