I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
