so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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