how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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