i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
pop tarts are not kleenex
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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