it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
