Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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