u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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