im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
