I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
