he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
