I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think my vagina is haunted
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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